Aside that I didn’t deliver world peace, cure cancer or correct global warming,
Kro d))su a y3n tina faako nnye 3nimguasi
So when I die, Let it not be incredulous.
Have one thousand virgin priests and priestesses chant canonical incantations of holy writ,
Wrap me up in the pure of cheap plain cloth soaked in the tears of ten thousand righteous men and throw me six feet deep into heaven.
For I have fallen for death’s allure, a fall from. which I’ll rise no more.
When I die,
You might narc;
” oh but I didn’t have enough of him and now his gone”
Well, too bad but
if you hadn’t spent so much time staring at your phone when we were together , If you weren’t so busy getting your money, thinking to yourself I’ll be around when you’re done,
then perhaps, you would have had enough of me.
Try not to come up with some profoundly clichè heartbreak message as your status to show the gaping depth your loss.
I won’t be there to appreciate this.
Do not put any picture of me up on social media announcing my death as though you cared even a little more than the undertaker, (to whom I’ll probably be just another Tuesday at work)
That’s just the most foolhardy kind of attention seeking
But if you did , I wouldn’t blame you.
What are friends for.
Try not to make my funeral about you and how successful you have become than anyone else that might show up
Try not to make my funeral about others and how far behind in life you are from them,
I wouldn’t be there to join your pity party
Do not go buy yourself a new dress for my funeral,
Give that money to the needy.
Do not spend time thinking of some new hair-do for my funeral,
spend that time helping a street
child learn to read.
Do not go polishing up your nails, browse and such,
Save that for your wedding.
Do not waste effort picking and matching your best dress with the perfect shoe-purse combo,
I wouldn’t see how fly you look,
So save it for “Accra Fashion Week”.
I would have you come butt-naked,
but, nudity is played out.
Do not concern yourself with where I’m going,
as that is as pointless as searching for an invisible
needle in a colourless hay stuck.
Do not wear make-up, perfume or accessorize,
forget about them
like all the other times you forgot to call me back cause you had better things to do.
Bring no phone or camera,
aside those being an unwelcome distraction to an otherwise solemn ceremony,
I always did find quite hard to shoulder funeral photos on social media
folks posed akin glorious statues of heroic martyrs,
wearing smiles of oblivion as though there was a thing such as “smile of sorrow “.
There shall be no food or drink (alcoholic, semi-alcoholic or otherwise ) at my funeral,
No wait !, don’t panic,
This is only to save you the ‘trip’ of having to criticize “funeral food”
Let’s face it,
you’re no renaissance culinary connoisseur anyway
no donations will be collected at my funeral ,
I’m sure you have better things to do with your money,
but if you don’t, here’s a great idea;
“donate it to charity”.
There will be no reading of some written fuss about my simple and even insignificant life
only one letter, written by me,
my tribute to you,
Wait ! , Who am I kidding ?
a funeral is not for the dead.
When I die,
When I’ve become no good for worth except vinish into star dust
From where I once came
It will be no shame
When no ocean of tears can muffle your pain.
When I’m gone,
When the veil between the actual and perception is torn
revealing my demons as my maker’s pawn
As I’m freed from this world to move on,
Let it be no celebration of tragedy.
Let me go,
Body not mind or soul
Carry me onto the infinity that unforgettable memory is
Carry me home to the dirt that once was beautiful.
Painting credit: blog.theprose
Additional artwork: Kwame Abrantipah
All rights reserved.